My City...Heartbreak

On the last Monday of last month (April 2015), I watched a part of my city burn. It seemed really surreal. Especially since most of the places that were front and center was in places that I frequently passed through in my youth, early adulthood and before I left Baltimore; most of the time for work.

As I watched coverage on a national media conglomerate, I couldn’t quite place the feeling I was feeling. Didn’t know if it was empathy, fear, shock or sadness…It wasn’t until the next day when I read a quote from a young lady who lived in one of the neighborhoods that I figured out what it was…Heartbreak.

I’ve always said over the last few years living in Baltimore, that the youth of today have become reckless.  Most of them are coming from broken homes and also are subjected to a school system that is really bad when it comes to education. Some of them were raised by children themselves so they have no sense of respect for themselves or others. No sense of right or wrong…no moral compass…no moral ambiguity if you will.

Whenever I travel anywhere and strike up a convo with anyone and I tell them I’m from Baltimore, those familiar with Baltimore go, “The Wire made the city look like its bad and dangerous…” My response has always been Baltimore is way worse than what you see on The Wire. Now the world as a whole knows it too.

Baltimore is one of the many cities in America that we need to fix at the grassroots level. We can’t wait until we send them to our poor school systems to try and nurture them…we need to get to them before they leave the home. Show them that with hard work and motivation things can be better. We need to show them that there is more to life and this world other than what you see outside of your window. We need to show them how to dream again…

-Namaste
 

Longevity and the faithful few...

For the better part of the day today, I tried to figure out what I wanted to blog about. Should I ramble, is there anything in the news I want to talk about, should I address the Trayvon Martin situation...I didn't know at the time how I wanted to approach this weeks blog but then it hit me. I could speak about longevity.

I started this blog in November of '07. When I came to you guys, my faithful fee, for the first time; I had know I day that I would do so for this long. Every week since then I have blogged for you guys. You guys have been come apart of my life.

You have been there through the good times and the bad times, the happy moments and the worst moments. Some weeks even when I felt bad I just had to come to you guys, even if it's was just to say I'm not feeling well. You've been there for the rejection, for the sorrow, for the pain. You been there when I had good news to share. When I wanted to share my work, there you guys were. When I was feeling poetic, again you guys show up. I would just like to thank you guys for being apart of my life these past few years and I hope you continue to be apart of my life for years to come.

Here's to you, my faithful few...

-Namaste

Emotions make you cry sometimes...

I just recently started watching this documentary about artist Beverly McIver. Its called Raising Renee. I am not to far in it yet but some far its pretty good. It has the makings of being a real good film. As I was watching the film, it made me reflect on my own work.  I have always noticed that I tend to leave certain emotions out of my work. Sadness, pain, resentment, etc...these are just a few of the emotions that I have felt in the past couple of years. And yet, if you look at the work I have created in that time span you.will see none of that in the work.  I referenced the documentary earlier because its about her work and her raising her sister while creating this work.  Her sister and family has always been apart of her work. They are the subject. I constantly shy away from including emotions of pain and hurt in my work.for fear of exposing my personal life. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with showing emotions...its just the way that I was raised that has me guarded against showing certain signs of emotion. My personality is also a big part of it as well. Those type of emotions I try my best not to wear on my sleeve. For me I believe that if I portrayed them in my work, it might paint a picture of a fractured "boy". I also believe my work then might be viewed as being created by someone who is reaching out for help or maybe it would invite people in who might believe that they "know how to fix me". Could my way of thinking be extremely way off base or extremely assumptive? Maybe...but it is what it is in my mind. At some point and time, I believe I can and will muster up the courage to attack more personal subject matter in my work.  As an artist, I can not be afraid to put all of my emotions into a piece for fear of letting one get to close.  I should be able to pour.my emotion into a piece and feel like I did that piece justice because I had no worries about the viewers perception or gaze when it comes to my work. That's all I have for you guys this week. Thanks for letting me share with you. -Namaste