In another couple of weeks, it will be a year since I walked away from job and then 2 weeks later; I left Baltimore. It's still quite surreal when I think about it. One of the things I used to talk about when I first started this blog was taking chances and my hesistance to do so often. But lo and behold, I go and take a giant leap of faith. Talk about taking chances!
Now don't get me wrong, it definitely hasn't been a cakewalk or easy. I can say that it truly has been a learning experience for me, as well as a trying time. (Man, I've used a lot of commas so far in this post). I feeling pretty optimistic about my future and future prospects. Adult Choices is something I have dwelled on in the past and I find myself increasingly making more and more of them. I guess I am finally starting to lose that contentment quality that I have had all those years. I've never been a free spirit so to speak but I will latch onto something if it feels real comfortable. I guess that's the main reason that I'm feeling good about my situation because it's ever-ever-changing. Nothing is stagnant or comfortable. Almost everyday is a new adventure, a new struggle, a new learning experience and I am kind of loving every minute of it just a little bit in the back of my mind. The rest of my mind thinks I'm just strange, lol. That's it for this week guys.
Until next week...
-Namaste
So faithful few...I think it's been a minute since I called you guys that...anywhoogle.
I feel like I am at a point...no I know I am at a point in my life right now where my faith is being tested. I have definitely hit a rough patch. I am not ready to share it just yet out into the blogosphere but when I do, I will definitely share it with you guys.
On a side note, I didn't work on my other design any this week so I didn't have anything new on that from to share with you guys. When I do get some work done on it! I will def share with you guys.
Until next week...
-Namaste
Last week I talked about Adult Choices. This weeks post is more of a continuation of that post but it's more of a State of the Moment kind of post...
Six months ago to the day I walked away from my job. A job I may added, while having reached the proverbial glass ceiling; paid pretty good. I packed up my things and walked away from somewhat comfortable but boring life and I left Baltimore. I choose to take a leap of faith and pretty much walk away from it all. For all intents and purposes right now, I feel like an alien in a strange land (For some reason Sting is in my head right now, for the uninformed, Englishman in New York).
I am just getting my life really going in my new state of residency. Things are still really new to me but I am finally working again and moving in the right direction. This has probably been one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.
Every now and then I might feel a little discouraged but something will happen that changes all of that. This past week I was texting with one of my ex-coworkers and he told me, "Be the beast...you are a testament to us all. Don't let them take your artistic soul!" And that really touched me.
I always...always said that I couldn't wait to have something as simple as my Facebook profile saying that my current city was somewhere else and my hometown was Baltimore. Well for the past 6 months I have been living that life. Whenever I am out in public or at work and I hear people talking, every now and then I kind of chuckle to myself. I am still amazed that I did it. After all this time, it still feels quite surreal. In the beginning, especially when I wasn't work, it felt like I was on the longest vacation EVER! It took me a couple of months to get used to the idea that it wasn't a vacation but that this was actually an ongoing part of my life right now. I missed family...I missed friends...I missed the monotonous routines...
For as much as I wanted to get away, there was still a part of me that was still back in Baltimore. Those first couple of months were so strange to me. I mean I was really excited but I was also kind of sad. Have you guys ever experienced that kind of feeling? That kind of...hmmm...happy guilty I think I'll call it. It's like enjoying something that you tell yourself that you shouldn't enjoy too much. I mean it's crazy exhilarating though.
There are plenty of pluses. I mean my family and I have always been close and with all the bad things and death that has happened in my close-knit family the last few years we have gotten even closer. But it is true what they say, when they say "...absence makes the heart grow fonder" because every time I talk to my sisters or dad or even my friends back home, I feel so much love surrounding us all. I never in a million years would have imagined that I would... You know some people never see themselves outside of the situations that they are in now. I mean they probably have the same dreams as most of us. They know that they are going to grow up, get a job and maybe start a family. They'll probably travel, do wonderful things, become wonderful people but they probably stay in the same circle or same town that they grew up in and don't get me wrong that perfectly ok...but for me for someone who has always felt outside of the box...someone who imagined things happening in a whole different way...it's awesome that I am building a life outside of where I'm from. In a different town.
I am truly feeling no regrets. Even when facing adversities or uncertainties at times, I have always like the Phoenix, risen from the ashes. Yet I have always been hesitant about making big choices or moves. It's funny...years ago, I wouldn't have the testicular fortitude to do some of the things I have been doing the past few years. I mean I may have talked about but I always had the fear of not being able to conquer them very same adversities or uncertainties or not being able to pull of what I said I would do. It was like I could see the other side of the mountain but I kept putting these obstacles in my way. I couldn't get past my own mental obstacles. And then it happened a year or so ago. I told myself it's now or never. From that point on, I begin to devote myself to the task at hand. And that brought me to six months ago where I seized my own destiny and took my leap of faith. It has been unreal up to this point for me. I am glad that today I am at where I am in my life and I can't wait to see how the next six months play out...
Well you guys it's about 4am and I should have been sleep hours ago but I had to finish this post for you guys...felt like I was about to start rambling, LOL. I put so much time into this post this weekend but I always have fun sharing with you guys. Who know some day I may pen a memoir and you guys definitely would be apart of it. Thanks for allowing me to share with you, the faithful few.
Until next week...
-Namaste
As promised faithful few, here are a few sketches/studies I have been working on. They are still kind of raw and I'm still working on some things with them but I love that I'm back problem-solving again. I will keep you guys updated on my progress. Maybe a series will come out of this. Who knows.
Until next week...
-Namaste
I had a pretty rough week this week. Rough mentally. Rejection and stress. Good thing for love...I celebrated another birthday this week, so that was something on the plus side.
I am beginning to enter into a new stage of my life and I realize that there are things that I thought I definitely wanted to experience are some things that I am not liking experiencing lol. The next couple of months will be big for me. BIG!!!
How I come out of it I think will govern the rest of the year for me. I know it's a little early in the year but I like to sometimes peer over the hill before I climb it. I have great plans for 2015, so this year will be a pivotal one for me.
Wow this post while short went a little better than I thought it would. I thought it was going to be all somber and macabre but it came out pretty good. That's all I have for you guys this week.
Until next week...
-Namaste
Today I want to talk a little about naysayers. For a long time I have known people or met people who have doubted things that I say I'll do or the things that I plan to do so to speak. I don't really look at it as a bad thing though. Most of my life I have feed off of obstacles and naysayers.
A lot of times it comes(came) into question whether or not I am going to do something or be able to do something because of my hesitation. I consider myself a thinking man so I am always "looking before I leap" and trying to make sure I am absolutely certain that things will go as planned before I partake. It's one of those "Catch-22s" though because in some instance because I'm "thinking" I tend not to take a lot of chances.
I'd like to believe that for most of my life I have been successful with making the right decisions and choices because of my careful planning. Recently I have had friends/people who either can't believe or find it amazing that I ACTUALLY plan on doing the things that I plan on doing in the second half of this year. I have already set things into motion. Right now it's just a matter of making sure there is a smooth execution of plans. Once I do these things will I tell the naysayers that they were wrong? Will I come back here and roast them? Probably not for I know that for me it was meant to be. No need for "I told you so's" or "you should have believed's" because "I" always knew I would and that's really the only thing that matters...
I hope this didn't come off a little harsh. It's not my intent, it's just been on my mind a lot lately and I wanted to address my feelings on the matter. That's all I have this weekend. I will try to post some art that I've been working on in the next couple of weeks. Until next week...
-Namaste
