I have been in love a couple of times. So I can say that I have loved and I have been loved. I have also lost love only to have found it and lose it again.
When it comes to love, I was always a late bloomer. I was always afraid to love, afraid to let someone love me. When I first got bit by the love bug, I didn't know how to handle it. When I found it again, I thought I had a handle on it. I thought that I knew what it was and what it involved. The love was still there but like the first time it didn't pan out.
One of the reasons I feel I was such a late bloomer is because I was afraid to love or be loved. I just never felt like I found the right person or if that person was genuinely into me.
Now in the present...right now in this moment...I understand love alot more. I learned that it's not something that you should go out and hunt for. It's not something you can really control. It's a feeling which over times nurtures you and seeks you out. It's an emotion that Is guided by the heart and soul.
I have known my girl for about a decade. We were always friends. Every now and then we would check on each other to see how the other one was doing. We would catch up and see where things were going in our respective lives. Somewhere along the way our love was building. When we started talking on a regular basis I could feel it but didn't know how to act on it. While I believe that she felt it and really began to act on it. Last year while I was in Chicago, I made sure every chance I had I was talking to her and that every night I would either fall asleep on the phone with her or atleast said good night to her before I went to sleep. It was at this time that she told me she felt so much love and that she could tell that I loved her.
I have gotten so used to her. She knows how to make me smile. She always say or tell me what I need to hear whether it be good or bad. I love the fact that I can show my true emotions around her and let her know how I really feel. I love that she will take time out of her day to call me and see how I am doing or see if I am ok if she hasn't heard from her. I love how she will call me at work simply to say I love you. I love that I can make her smile. I love that I can her happy and I love how happy she makes me feel. Everyday I look forward to talking to her. She is the spark to my life. She is my future. She is a large part of my life and she totally has my heart. I love her so much.
Until sometime next week, namaste and stay strong...