Saturday, July 17, 2010

ArtStar log 32579843...

I read alot and I try to watch as many informative shows and documentaries as possible. As I am going through all of the information, I am also dealing with alot of self-discovery as an artist. I wonder what my legacy as an artist. I sometimes wonder how resolved some of my post-undergrad work is. Have I really solved any problems? Has the work really spoken to me? What can I do differently? What do I need to work on? What am I missing?
On some level I never really care what you, the viewer thinks. On other levels, I wonder if you get what I am trying to convey or if you think that I am trying to bullshit you. When I get right down to it the work has to come from that special place in my head. I need to focus on building a closer relationship to my work and my conscience. Your "gaze" will be predicated by your own relationship with my work. A relationship, where try as I might I can not interfere with. Either you love it or you don't.
Back in school, probably somewhere in the beginning of my junior year, I begin to delve into work that simulated your senses. Work that begged you to question the mindset of the artist. I also was making work that I felt I need to for my own identity and self-awareness as a "black" artist. The imagery and tone of the work was created in such away that you had to approach it in such a manner that you looked at the way you viewed certain things. I can recall after graduating show some people my work and having them respond either negatively or in a way that assured me that just discussing this was difficult for them. One it was difficult because they thought I was too young to be talking about the subject matter and two because the didn't know how to approach the subject matter.
Somewhere along the line the past few years, i have abandoned my aforementioned art practice. There is that part of me that don't want to come off propagandish and a part of me who doesn't want to come off as some one who has done his research. I feel as though this is not a big burden I am putting on myself but a way to make sure I convey the message I want to convey. As I said "your gaze," will determine how you see the work and what you get out of the work.
All I can do for my part is make sure that it is enjoyable to you the viewer.


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