I guess it's associating with and being around people who, now don't get me wrong have been cool people...it's just some of them either wouldn't get it or find it offensive. That's not to say that I diverted from the work because I cared about what people said but I believe it had more to do with my self-defined ideal of those closest around me.
Its like in my mind I have this internal struggle between myself and being the artist I could/should be. Whenever I endeavor to create work like I used to do its like I self-destroy that motivation and then do something that I know people will fill its pretty or pleasing to the eye. I really need to defeat that demon in my head and get back to create work for me. Need to break down that wall in my mind that has been put up. I know what you are going to say. "Why don't you just do it and not care about what people may or may not think about it?" I mean it seems easy enough right? But when your personality is like a guardian to your subconscious mind and forces you to think of others before yourself; it gets tricky. And don't even get me started on how it stagnates "Art for Arts' sake".
At the end of the day, its about taking that leap and not looking back. Its getting yourself into that mindset that you have something you want to say and who gives a hell whether or not people like it or whether they feel like your "treadging" up the past...or if they feel like you are talking about something that's never effected you. In some ways, you have to be sort of selfish when creating. In any event, it's easier said then done my friends...easier said than done...