The Artist is here...

Last few days I have been feeling really motivated. I have some ideas that I will be committing to pencil and paper. They really kind of hit me all of a sudden. I don't know if it was because of the new mental space that I am in or because it was it's time to come out. Nonetheless, I am really excited about the direction my creative process is taking me.

I feel like I have gotten back a little piece of my artistic soul. I guess it's the upside of being in a good place.

I'm going to start back sharing images with you guys. Might even do some video as well. I am so encouraged right now... It's amazing. That's all I have for you guys this week though.

Until next week...

-Namaste

Weekend update

Still working out somethings and I hope you guys are being patient with me, you the faithful few.

In the next few weeks I will share everything that's been going on.

Until then...

-Namaste

#WinterIsComing

New things are happening for me faithful few. I'm not going to talk about them just yet but know that they are coming.

I know this is a really quick post this weekend but I promise that pretty soon the post will be back to normal, long-winded format 😊

Last day of January...

It is already the end of January. In a few short hours it will be February. And for me it looks like the turnover of the calendar is like a new page turning.

I am feeling really optimistic about the coming months. Getting back on track and regaining a sense of control seems within reach. I feel a tinge of excitement brewing within me. I can't wait to share with you guys, mostly everything... Somethings I still want to hold in to for a while.

Until next week...

-Namaste

Shuck your Shells...

What do you do when it seems like all you are doing is skirting by? I have always prided myself on having a set plan and a way of doing things but lately I feel like I have really given in to the strong ideology of "Leap of Faithism". I have been lucky so far but in the back of my head I feel like I'm playing Russian Roulette with a 6 shooter loaded with 5 in the cylinder.

I am beginning to really hate not knowing and leaving things to chance and faith. Sure I am trying to make things happen as well but for the most part I have been going under the assumption that things will work themselves out. I miss having more control of my life. I need to find away to get back to that person while still being the guy who takes chances when need be. Until then, I will continue to feel the way I do from time to time.

That's all I have for you guys this week.

Until next week...



-Namaste

Go BIG...

Lately I have been looking through some of my sketches and some of my smaller works and seeing which ones I would likely possibly blow up in to a bigger painting.

I've been trying to visualize them bigger. Like some of them have aspects of them that work small but if created bigger, would have to be reworked. In a way going bigger will allow to not only recreate the work but also revisit it. Revisiting would then help me to evolve certain parts of the original work.

The first piece that I plan on doing this with is a piece I did a few weeks ago called The Exodus. I've already reworked it once from a pencil sketch to a marker drawing or sketch. I just came up with an idea as I was typing this blog. The next few weeks I'm hoping to have something for you guys to check out.

That's all I have this week.

Until next week...

 

 

-Namaste

Focus Grasshopper or Mental Tornado...

Lately I have lacked the proper motivation. Maybe I shouldn't say motivation but more along the lines of having a lack of focus. I have been having issues with keeping my mind centered.

I have so much going on in my head right now it's seems hard to pick one at a time. It's like I've reached a crossroad.

And I am stuck on where do I go from here...how do I get to point B...what's going to happen next....

It's all this uncertainty in my head that is cloud my mind and keeping me off my game. I need to re-learn how to not let things take over my mind and spiral out of control .

Maybe I need to get back into meditating. You know really clearing my head before I dive into anything else. I think I will give that a go...what say you?

Well that's all I have for you guys this week. Looking forward to the week ahead.

Until next week...

 

 

-Namaste

 

Blog changes A-coming...

Hey faithful few, I have decided to implement the first change in my blog. Hopefully you will see the change in the next few weeks or so.

I am going to also add a little cosmetic changes as I mentioned last week to my blog as well in hopes of driving more traffic to my blog. I may even later in the year transition from Blogger to Wordpress. That's where I have my other 2 blogs hosted at now. Maybe I can go with a little unity on the blog front. As usual, whatever I do you guys will be the first to know.

Until next week...

 

 

-Namaste

Show me the Money...Or not...

Hello faithful few, I have been blogging for a few years now and occasionally I'll change up my page. Just a little cosmetic things here and there...but now I am thinking of really switching it up. I am thinking of trying to monetize my blog.

Over the coming weeks I am going to be trying out a few things to see if I like it or see how I feel about it. Apart of me feels like I'd be forcing ads upon you guys but then another part of me feels like as as an artist, I should be trying to capitalize on every venture in my arsenal. What do you guys think? That's all I have this week. I know kind of a short post but this one was just about sharing with you guys the changes that are coming and to get you opinions.

Until next week...

 

 

-Namaste

Six Months and No Regrets...

Last week I talked about Adult Choices. This weeks post is more of a continuation of that post but it's more of a State of the Moment kind of post...

Six months ago to the day I walked away from my job. A job I may added, while having reached the proverbial glass ceiling; paid pretty good. I packed up my things and walked away from somewhat comfortable but boring life and I left Baltimore. I choose to take a leap of faith and pretty much walk away from it all. For all intents and purposes right now, I feel like an alien in a strange land (For some reason Sting is in my head right now, for the uninformed, Englishman in New York).

I am just getting my life really going in my new state of residency. Things are still really new to me but I am finally working again and moving in the right direction. This has probably been one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.

Every now and then I might feel a little discouraged but something will happen that changes all of that. This past week I was texting with one of my ex-coworkers and he told me, "Be the beast...you are a testament to us all. Don't let them take your artistic soul!" And that really touched me.

I always...always said that I couldn't wait to have something as simple as my Facebook profile saying that my current city was somewhere else and my hometown was Baltimore. Well for the past 6 months I have been living that life. Whenever I am out in public or at work and I hear people talking, every now and then I kind of chuckle to myself. I am still amazed that I did it. After all this time, it still feels quite surreal. In the beginning, especially when I wasn't work, it felt like I was on the longest vacation EVER! It took me a couple of months to get used to the idea that it wasn't a vacation but that this was actually an ongoing part of my life right now. I missed family...I missed friends...I missed the monotonous routines...

For as much as I wanted to get away, there was still a part of me that was still back in Baltimore. Those first couple of months were so strange to me. I mean I was really excited but I was also kind of sad. Have you guys ever experienced that kind of feeling? That kind of...hmmm...happy guilty I think I'll call it. It's like enjoying something that you tell yourself that you shouldn't enjoy too much. I mean it's crazy exhilarating though.

There are plenty of pluses. I mean my family and I have always been close and with all the bad things and death that has happened in my close-knit family the last few years we have gotten even closer. But it is true what they say, when they say "...absence makes the heart grow fonder" because every time I talk to my sisters or dad or even my friends back home, I feel so much love surrounding us all. I never in a million years would have imagined that I would... You know some people never see themselves outside of the situations that they are in now. I mean they probably have the same dreams as most of us. They know that they are going to grow up, get a job and maybe start a family. They'll probably travel, do wonderful things, become wonderful people but they probably stay in the same circle or same town that they grew up in and don't get me wrong that perfectly ok...but for me for someone who has always felt outside of the box...someone who imagined things happening in a whole different way...it's awesome that I am building a life outside of where I'm from. In a different town.

I am truly feeling no regrets. Even when facing adversities or uncertainties at times, I have always like the Phoenix, risen from the ashes. Yet I have always been hesitant about making big choices or moves. It's funny...years ago, I wouldn't have the testicular fortitude to do some of the things I have been doing the past few years. I mean I may have talked about but I always had the fear of not being able to conquer them very same adversities or uncertainties or not being able to pull of what I said I would do. It was like I could see the other side of the mountain but I kept putting these obstacles in my way. I couldn't get past my own mental obstacles. And then it happened a year or so ago. I told myself it's now or never. From that point on, I begin to devote myself to the task at hand. And that brought me to six months ago where I seized my own destiny and took my leap of faith. It has been unreal up to this point for me. I am glad that today I am at where I am in my life and I can't wait to see how the next six months play out...

Well you guys it's about 4am and I should have been sleep hours ago but I had to finish this post for you guys...felt like I was about to start rambling, LOL. I put so much time into this post this weekend but I always have fun sharing with you guys. Who know some day I may pen a memoir and you guys definitely would be apart of it. Thanks for allowing me to share with you, the faithful few.

Until next week...

-Namaste

One more day or Art-mageddon is upon us...

One more day and I begin life anew. It seems so surreal. A couple of weeks I will be gone from this state and I will be forging a new chapter in my life. I am extremely excited yet, what's the word...not really nervous but more like anticipation maybe???

It's that anticipatory feeling that you get on Xmas morning or the first day of school. Your so antsy that you can hardly wait. There are the butterflies in the stomach, the goosebumps, and what ever else comes with the excitement.

I am so glad that I am finally doing this. It's almost like I am an explorer and I am going on an adventure. I'm Charlie and I've got a golden ticket.

It's up to me to make the most of this opportunity that I have been afforded. This is the perfect time in my life to take advantage of this time. I am going to try and focus on my art a lot. It's going to feel good to devote most of my time to my work. The next few months should be a joy. I am hoping to post a lot of work for you guys as well.

Until next week...

 

 

-Namaste

Tell me a story or The Grass is always greener...

This past week was a pretty bland week for me. I didn't do anything too big the first part of the week but I did put some things into motion the last part of the week. At some point I'll get into it here but not now. Something's are still private after all :) Rest assured though when the world knows you guys will be the first to know.

Other than that its going to stay business as usual for me. I do plan on doing some new painting in the next week or so. I am going to be trying out a new medium. I am plenty excited about that. Well I think that's all I have for you guys this week. Hopefully next week I'll have some images to share with you guys.

Until then...

 

 

-Namaste

Naysayers or The Boy Who Cried Wolf...

Today I want to talk a little about naysayers. For a long time I have known people or met people who have doubted things that I say I'll do or the things that I plan to do so to speak. I don't really look at it as a bad thing though. Most of my life I have feed off of obstacles and naysayers.

A lot of times it comes(came) into question whether or not I am going to do something or be able to do something because of my hesitation. I consider myself a thinking man so I am always "looking before I leap" and trying to make sure I am absolutely certain that things will go as planned before I partake. It's one of those "Catch-22s" though because in some instance because I'm "thinking" I tend not to take a lot of chances.

I'd like to believe that for most of my life I have been successful with making the right decisions and choices because of my careful planning. Recently I have had friends/people who either can't believe or find it amazing that I ACTUALLY plan on doing the things that I plan on doing in the second half of this year. I have already set things into motion. Right now it's just a matter of making sure there is a smooth execution of plans. Once I do these things will I tell the naysayers that they were wrong? Will I come back here and roast them? Probably not for I know that for me it was meant to be. No need for "I told you so's" or "you should have believed's" because "I" always knew I would and that's really the only thing that matters...

I hope this didn't come off a little harsh. It's not my intent, it's just been on my mind a lot lately and I wanted to address my feelings on the matter. That's all I have this weekend. I will try to post some art that I've been working on in the next couple of weeks. Until next week...

 

 

-Namaste

Quick hits...

Hey faithful few, I don't have anything really for you guys this week. I did have a somewhat productive first part of the week in Charlotte though.

At some point in time I will bring you guys some good news going forward. I need to finish this painting that I started about a month ago and haven't worked on in about 3 weeks. I also started working on this panel that I had totally forgotten about. I had worked on half of it, then taped it off and put it to the side. Almost forgot I had it. Those are two pieces I am hoping to finish in the next couple of weeks. I really got to get back into the swing of things.

Until next time my friends...

 

 

 

-Namaste

 

New WIP...

I thought I would just post a pic of one of the things I am working on that I can share with you guys. Hopefully next week I have more to share with you. I know I have a rant I guess I can call it about how we as artists are influenced by other artists and how we use that influence in our own work. I'm going to try and get that out to you guys in the next couple of weeks. Until then...


-Namaste

What The Duck...

I think on a somewhat "subconscious/conscious" level I am afraid to make the work I want to make. I told my girl this the other day. When I think back to the sort of self-discovery I had back in my junior year of college to where I am today, I often wonder why my work took such a drastic turn. I mean I went from making work that could have become quite provocative to making work that in my own honest opinion, sometimes viewed as "being safe". What happened along the way...

I guess it's associating with and being around people who, now don't get me wrong have been cool people...it's just some of them either wouldn't get it or find it offensive. That's not to say that I diverted from the work because I cared about what people said but I believe it had more to do with my self-defined ideal of those closest around me.

Its like in my mind I have this internal struggle between myself and being the artist I could/should be. Whenever I endeavor to create work like I used to do its like I self-destroy that motivation and then do something that I know people will fill its pretty or pleasing to the eye. I really need to defeat that demon in my head and get back to create work for me. Need to break down that wall in my mind that has been put up. I know what you are going to say. "Why don't you just do it and not care about what people may or may not think about it?" I mean it seems easy enough right? But when your personality is like a guardian to your subconscious mind and forces you to think of others before yourself; it gets tricky. And don't even get me started on how it stagnates "Art for Arts' sake".

At the end of the day, its about taking that leap and not looking back. Its getting yourself into that mindset that you have something you want to say and who gives a hell whether or not people like it or whether they feel like your "treadging" up the past...or if they feel like you are talking about something that's never effected you. In some ways, you have to be sort of selfish when creating. In any event, it's easier said then done my friends...easier said than done...

 

 

-Namaste

 

The Ramblings of a Sleep Deprived Artist...

The last couple of days I have been punishing myself.  Now hold on there...when I say punishing myself, I'm not talking physically (I'm not a masochist)...I'm talking more along the lines of sleep.  I'd say in the past 72 hours I've had about 12 hours sleep. If that...Weird I know.  Its almost like I be fighting sleep or should I say sleep has been avoiding me.


WHY HAS THOU FORSAKEN ME, SLEEP??? WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY!!! 

There is no reason why I shouldn't be sleep, I guess i be pretty keyed up.  Maybe I should take a weekend off of work and just sleep it out or relax or something.  I don't know.  What do you guys think?  This was probably the weirdest post I've written in awhile...


-Namaste

P.S...as I wrote this I was listening to Open Arms by Journey...Just thought I'd share;)

Hmmmm TECH IS 4 DA Nerds and Geeks...in all of us...

So it seems that the informationsuperwebsthoroughway is in a form of simplistic yet futuristic look to its web pages. I mean society with in itself is evolving into a sort of digital copy of itself. In my honest "techno-geekian" opinion, we will totally miss the full-on holographic phase of technology. We will instead be viewed in how many pixels we are;) That's totally ok because I feel that the technology that techies a generation ago wished for is extremely outdated. Only beef with our ever-evolving culture now is that the companies rush the tech out to consumers. Some of this high powered devices are in the hands of people who are quite ready for the explosiveness that companies give them. Then they not only have to contend with getting the hang of it but they also have to contend with 5 or 6 months later a device or piece of hardware coming out that totally replaces or make their freshly "new" items seem obsolete. There is in the future going to be a real market for people who are in the "know" when it comes to things like this. I wouldn't feel too bold if I said I believe that is the reason there are some many tech blogs and channels out there now. Well I just wanted to give you guys my spin on the evolution of tech as it stands so to speak. And as I am typing this of the new simplistic layout of Blogger, I feel like something is missing from the setup of this page. I guess I will know how it goes once I hit publish. -Namaste

Note to my 26 yr old "SELF", Act1, Scene1...

So if I could travel back in time and impart you with some words of wisdom, what exactly would I say to you? I often ponder what if I had done things differently, were would I be now? What if I traveled back 10 years and say to you dude, maybe you should take more graphic design classes...mix it up a little...or maybe you should have applied to art school out west...maybe now is the time for you to become a vegetarian. I wonder "SELF" how would me helping you make those decisions then affect my now? Who knows "SELF"? Don't get me wrong, I love my life, my family, my friends, my girl and the course my life is taking right now. It's just sometimes "SELF" you have this period of reflection...a period of what-ifs...a period of "if I could go back, what would I change...".

"SELF," there are some things that I wouldn't allow you to change for the world. I would have a deep fear of what it might do to "OUR" future. How it would hurt bonds we would build going forward...it would probably change "OUR" view of things...it would definitely change things!

NO! You know what I would do "SELF?" I would better prepare you for what comes next. I would help you to be stronger. I wouldn't exactly guide you down the path but I would help you to stay focus and help you to understand that it might not happen in 10 or maybe even 15 years; but the stronger you get the more you will persevere. I would also let you know that on the way to getting stronger, that it's ok to open up...it's ok to give in to your emotions. Try not to keep them so bottled up. And "SELF"...I promise...you might not see it on the outside but inside it only keeps getting better...

The week that was or the middle of Februrary...

So...I found out that I didn't make it into Teach for America this year. My rejection letter talked of their highly selective process(they have a 12% acceptance rate). I am somewhat disappointed but yet still encouraged. Just getting the opportunity to apply was a good thing for me. I would rather have applied and not gotten in then to have not applied altogether. There will be plenty of opportunities for me in the future. I will not give up. I can not give up...

So yesterday I started a new painting where I love all elements of the painting the way it is now. I am trying to channel my inner zen approach to painting. While I love what's going on in the painting I know in my heart of hearts that one way or another I am going to destroy part of this painting. My process is all about building up and then tearing down. Every once and awhile I do something where I am so amazed by what happen by accident or by failure of application of process that I become hesitant about destroying it. I know I must bit it just sometimes get to a point where eventhough it's not finished, I am quite satisfied with what I have. I will post some pics for you guys next week of where I am at with it. I can see that it's going to be a lengthy work in progress.

That's all I have for guys this week.

-Namaste